The Raven's Blog

Announcement/Day of the Dead

2011-11-01T15:15:00.000-07:00

I forgot to mention it earlier, but I'm revisiting my Midnight Sun dissection. Looking back I saw that there were a few errors that I want to correct, things that I forgot to mention, ect.

On a intresting note, tomorrow will be the day of the dead here in México. I like celebrating it, mostly because it's a day of remembrance of those dear ones that have departed, believed to be the day when their souls come back and feast with loved ones.

One usually does an altar dedicated to whomever you lost and place flowers, candles and of course, the departed favorite foods, whatever it is. We say that we know that the person or persons came and ''ate'' when the food doesn't have an aroma the next day.

Anyway, that's it.

Werewolf

2011-11-01T14:39:00.001-07:00

I tasted bitterness on your lips,

So young and you already walk a path of sin

Without looking back, I know you don’t cry

When blood stains your hands;

Only in those times when

Silver bars lock you inside of your pen.

Beloved moon son,

Your howl echoes into the night

And your wild heart holds nothing back

Tell me, when midnight falls and the moon shines bright

Whose blood will stain your hands?

Scythe

2011-10-25T17:36:00.000-07:00

She sleeps in a bed of roses and thorns
Calm and peaceful she waits,
Yearning for the day when
The sky opens from above and smile at her;
Heaven will wake her, she's sure.
Ending her centuries long dream.

Prompt # 23, Thriller Table

HOWL

2011-10-24T18:25:00.000-07:00

He walks among the stars
On those nights when the moon is bright,
While his body rests on the ground waiting
Limp and empty.

Prompt #12. HOWL

Crazy little thing called poetry

2011-10-24T18:18:00.000-07:00

I realized that I have been slacking on my poems, so, I'm writting 30 poem with 30 prompts, there will sometimes be more than one of the same prompt. The prompts are taken from this site: 30 somethings. And I'm working with Thriller. Expect randomness and wish me luck!

Extraña en mi espejo

2011-08-19T16:44:00.000-07:00

Mirando al espejo
Ya no se ni lo que veo,
Pues no es mi rostro reflejado lo que observo;
Es otra persona y temo…

Mil escalifríos me corren por el cuerpo,

Ya no hay nada en el espejo

¡Y ahora resulta que me quejo!

Ojos que no son míos me observan
Los labios del espejo se curvan en una sonrisa;
Esa persona es una total desconocida…
No es mi madre, lo se.

Ni la abuela; no, tampoco lo es,

Mil escalofríos me corren por el cuerpo

¡Hay una extraña en mi espejo!

Refuge

2011-07-28T22:20:00.000-07:00

After a long time,

Life's daily experience teaches us

That time doesn't really happen,

That time and space don't really matter.

It's just an instant in eternity.

And when the loneliness knocks,

And pain comes calling back
And when faith's of no use;

My body will lay on it's bed.

And life breaks into little pieces.

And your loving soul seeks refuge

In my waiting arms.

**
I don't know, I just don't know how to explain this poem. Comments are always welcome.

Dawn

2011-07-28T22:11:00.000-07:00

Dawn smiled

With light in her face,

Like the shy maid who

Opens her window, only to be caught

By curious and besotted eyes.

I had my gaze locked

With the blue sky and,

In my waiting hands my head found rest;

Gazing in peace at the clouds.

Latter at night

Beneath an indigo starry sky

My heart sighed and said:

"I'm alive and my soul's at peace."

Corny poem, I know. I don't care.

Poemas

2011-07-17T00:11:00.000-07:00

(Sin nombre)

Es la hora de la despedida.

Adiós bollito mío, prometo regresar

A éste mi hogar.

Mendigo.

Cabeza peluda de mendigo,

Quien las pesadillas humanas absorvía,

Velando en silencio por los demás.

Con una muerte espantosa,

Te marchas ya.

Nadie lo notará.

I'm ALIVE! Ahem Yeah, I'm back

2011-07-16T22:59:00.000-07:00

Oh hello internet, did you miss me? No? Ok, moving on.

I have no excuse for neglecting my blog the way I have been doing so for these past several months, I really don't.

I'll admit that, after reading and snarking Midnight Sun I needed a break, I wasn't however expecting to downright forget my blog for several months.

I have new poems and after cleaning my closet (finally!) rediscovered old poems that I had completely forgot they existed. I will be uploading some of those here.

It's good to be back.

Celebratory Post

2011-03-23T20:06:00.000-07:00

Well, since I finished Midnight Sun I figured I would post something funny to make you laugh, but since I suck at jokes, here's a video of Josh Groban on Jimmy Kimmel singing... Kanye West's Tweets:

Midnight Sun: 12. Complications.

2011-03-23T19:58:00.000-07:00

Foreword: Book parts in pink and my snark is in lilac. Yes, I know I said I would post this one tomorrow, but, why wait? Let's get this over with.

12. Complications.

Before I start snarking thing chapter, I have something to say:

This is the last chapter, fuck yeah!!! Finally, this shit is going to end! My brain is going to thank me now, after this.

On to the snark.

It was oddly consoling to know I wasn’t the only one living out a tragic love story. Heartbreak was everywhere.

Gee, dramatic much?

But I will say this, poor Angela suffering for Ben… is every female on this series unhappy without a man? Wait, don't answer that. I already know the answer.

Geez.

There was no point in her broken heart.

God Edward, you’re a douche, Godzilla scale.

What a wasteful sadness, when there was no valid reason for her not to be with the one she wanted.

How do you know that? Christ on a cracker, you’re such an unlikeable teen/sparklevamp.

Was it because I knew that I was the only one who could see clearly?

Underestimating human eye much?

Listen I remember high school days when we saw movies in the theater, it wasn’t dark enough… I know this first hand.

Between her body and mine, the electricity hummed.

Color me shocked.

She didn’t move all through the hour, holding her stiff, controlled pose as I held mind.

How does she do it?
I can’t stay still on my seat, I move around a lot. Drives my mother nuts.

Bella was like a soap bubble—fragile and ephemeral.

Oh man, corny and ridiculous.

She would not always be within my arm’s reach…

Yes she will, ‘cause you know, she loves you more than anything and everything and she will rather die than to live without you…

*Barf*

Because I couldn’t allow myself near her if I insisted on making errors.

How about, you not being near her, period.

Alice’s visions were not what I wanted to think about.

Why? Because they’re pretty much dictating the way you act towards Bella?

Or change your mind about stuff?

Please tell me.

Rosalie was a pain, but I would always owe her one for choosing Emmett.

Edward, has it ever crossed your mind that the problem is… you? I mean, everything and anything bothers you, but it’s always other people’s fault. Never you.

Dude, you have a problem.

Edward Cullen was going to ask Angela out? But… no. I don’t like that. I don’t want him near her. He’s… not right for her. Not… safe.

Ok where to begin?

WTF is on with every male on this series about protecting women and knowing what’s “right” for them? It’s annoying, insulting and very… 1500’s.

Ok, feministic issues aside (for now), for some reason Ben actually hits the nail on the head about not being safe.

But that’s because I’m sure that his douchebag radar is going off the charts with Edward.

I can only hope.

“Huh”, I said arrogantly as I turned back to Emmett.

So, you were being yourself. For once. J

I liked this Ben. He seemed bright and well-meaning. Maybe even worthy of a girl like Angela.

Dude, stop making standards for other people and please stop judging people by their thoughts. A thought is nothing more than that. A thought.

I had to remind myself that murdering Mike Newton was not a permissible option.

*Sigh*

I repeat Edward: You have a problem, and a big part of that is anger.

“I’ll stay back here,” Bella said, embarrassment and chagrin on her face rather than pain. Maybe Mike had gotten the worst of it. I certainly hoped that was the case.

You’re such a douche.

By the way Meyer, you did it yet again: Describe a complete scene that Edward should not be able to see. I was under the impression that Edward only read minds.

Big time failure on your part again.

He didn’t recognize the real phenomenon—that she picked me.

Huh, I’m reading this “book” and so far, Edward is the one who has been doing the stalking and he’s following the vision his “sister” had. But I can't help but to wonder, had Bella said ''No'', would Edward respect that answer?

But then again, we all know how this is going to end.

You and the freak. I guess, if a rich guy is that important to you…

I gritted my teeth at his degrading assumption.

Deal with Edward, you’ve been doing the same thing for every single person on this town, now you deal with it.

And fyi: Mike totally called it.

I began to worry that Forks was becoming too aware…

I’m surprised it took them this long.

Why would she laugh at the suggestion that I could kill her, when she knew it was entirely true?

Because it’s Bella, she’s messed up, you know?

Did she have a morbid sense of humor? That didn’t fit my idea of her character, but how could I be sure?

Keywords here: MY IDEA.
Because really, Edward doesn't know Bella. No matter what he thinks he knows about her, he doesn't. He's never spoken to her the conversation they have on their way to his car is the longest they had since they met.

Or maybe my daydream of the giddy angel was true in one respect, in that she had no sense of fear at all.

No, she’s just stupid. That’s all.

Brave—that was one word for it.

No, it’s not.

Others may say stupid, but I knew how bright she was.

No you don’t KNOW HER damn it! You THINK you do, but you don’t. And YES it’s stupid, she IS stupid.

Maybe she would always need me here…

Just like that, my mood was soaring.

Yay for Bella being dependant on Edward to always save her! Hurray!

[Douche]

She was usually quick to forgive.

If you mean: ‘Forgive me’ then yes. ‘Cause she’s a doormat.

“What kind of car is that?” she wondered.

Bella, are you trying to tell me that you’ve never seen the BMW logo? Bullshit. I know jack squat about cars and I know a BMW when I see one.

Bull-fucking-shit.

“How about I mean it, and I agree to let you drive this Saturday?” I cringed internally at the thought.

Oh poor Edward, he will go on a car that actually respects transit rules. Oh woe is him.

“Um,” she said “it doesn’t help with the Charlie situation if an unexplained Volvo is left on the driveway.”

There’s no Charlie situation (other than her not wanting to tell Charlie she’s going to Seattle with Edward), she’s just being dramatic.

Not us. Not our family. We would trade anything to be human.

Really? Really?

Did it hurt her to leave, as it hurt me to let her go?

Yes, because you’re both so in love.

The only solace was that I would see her soon. Sooner than she would see me.

Creepy as fuck. And invasive.

Why do people like this guy, again?

I hit the gas, and then sighed as she disappeared behind me.

You’re always speeding right? I hate you.

***

And on that note: We’re done! I did it! I finished this piece of crap at long last!

I feel happy that it’s finally over, now I’m going to be able to do other stuff at leisure without having to stop and carry on with this stuff.

I’m done with Midnight Sun. And with Stephenie Meyer.

I deserve cake for this.

Midnight Sun: 11. Interrogations

2011-03-23T17:28:00.000-07:00

Foreword: Book parts in pink and my snark in lilac. Proceed with caution.

Chapter 11. Interrogations.

“Alonzo Calderas Wallace, suspected serial rapist and murderer… [goes on]”

Yay for the use of (possibly) minorities as the usual rapist/robber/murderer, right? [Please note the sarcasm]

And I'm going to leave it there, else I go on a seriously long rant on why this pisses me off.

I’d left Bella’s room less than an hour ago. I was already aching to see her again.

You can’t stand an hour away from her? Dude, you’re pathetic. Oh, and by the way, this isn’t romantic at all.

You should know, though, this isn’t just me being selfish. Bella’s going to like me, too.

Don’t you love how certain Alice is about her visions?

What Bella wanted and what was best for Bella were two very separate things.

Funny that it’s you making that decision.

Her mouth turned down. “Do I react badly?”

“No, that’s the problem. You take everything so coolly—it’s unnatural.”

That’s ‘cause she’s a sue.

“Ostentatious, isn’t it?”

“Like I said, ostentatious. We try to fit in.”

Newsflash Edward, you guys are rich in a small town, drive BMWs, Mercedes, Porsches and God know what else, Alice wears designer and none of you repeat clothes twice.

You don’t fake it very well.

I should be polite to Bella’s friends, whether they were good friends or not.

You should be polite to people, end of story.

She handed me the jacket, and put her arms through her own, without looking up to see that my hands were extended to assist.

If you wanted to help, say it out loud.

Of course I was watching Bella. That was becoming natural—as automatic as breathing.

Get another hobby. Please and thank you.

And then, we have Jessica interrogating Bella for all that’s worth. Boring really, apparently, men and women can’t be friends and have dinner without any romantic reasons.

I’m so bored and thankful this crap is almost over.

How could she not realize that I was in love with her?

You haven’t talk to her much, she doesn't know you, you haven’t asked her out, you've barely have begun talking to one another. I could go on, really. So far, you two are [somewhat] friends. People don’t assume their friends want to bone them.

“Oh well,” Jessica sighed. “He’s so unbelievably gorgeous.”

Bella’s face was suddenly colder. Her eyes flashed the same way they did when she resented some injustice.

Behold! Bella’s jealousy.

“There’s a lot more of him than that.” Bella snapped.

Question Bella: How the fuck is Jessica supposed to know this? Because in case you hadn’t notice, he’s a jerk to everyone and didn’t speak to no one until you and your bacon scent arrived, so kindly explain what you mean.

“But he’s even more unbelievable behind the face.”

Someone please explain this phrase to me. I don’t get it.

Meyer, if you wanted to make allusions to Edward being a great person, you failed miserably at this. Because so far, he’s been nothing but a douche.

Sell stupid somewhere else—there’s nothing better than that face

Don’t you just love how Meyer reduces every female in this series but Bella to mindless, vain, and superficial idiots?

Don’t you just love it? [Sarcasm, just a free service I offer]

More than he likes me? How did she come up with that? But I don’t see how I can help with that. What was that supposed to mean?

1.- You’ve been horribly rude towards her, to begin with.

2.- You ignored her for almost a month.

3.- You throw her insults to her by calling her “not smart” and stuff like that.

4.- You don’t talk to her, save for recently.

I had no patience for her obsessive thoughts about Mike Newton.

And I don’t have patience for your obsession for Bella, so there.

She didn’t say anything until I was assembling her lunch.

Dude, she can do it herself.

How many times had I imagined crippling Mike Newton in the biology room?

And people like this guy? Man, we’re doomed.

“Yes, I really think that,” she said without looking up. There was a faint undertone of sadness in her voice.

That because she’s so in love with you, Edward! She suffers because she already loves you so much while you don’t care. Can’t you see it?! Can you?!

“You’re wrong.” I promised.

Bella looked up to me, her eyes opaque, giving nothing away. “You can’t know that.”

Oh, Bella, don’t be silly. He loves you so much, he watches you in your sleep. Isn’t that enough?

[Man, it was creepy to write that way.]

“Well, look at me,” she said.

I was looking. All I ever did was look at her. What did she mean?

“I’m absolutely ordinary,” she explained.

Bella, you have nearly every male in the near vicinity wanting you, don’t pull that bullshit.

I’d believe you if no one would pay attention to, if they were rude to you, if they ignored you… you see were I’m going, right? Also, what is her problem with being ordinary? Extraordinary people aren't born, they emerge by standing for things they believe in, by fighting for those who have none, by chosing to do an act of great bravery. Extraordinary isn't born, it's made and we all have potential for it.

How could she not realize that she was the most beautiful…most expensive…

Because she’s the average girl, right? She doesn’t think she’s good enough. Oh no, she’s just plain, old, boring Bella.

Her existence alone was excuse enough to justify the creation of the whole world.

Ok no. Just no.

Listen to me Meyer, and listen to me carefully:

Just because YOU think Bella alone should be worth more than the lives of billions of other people, it doesn’t make it so.

Among those people, there are some who have done great things for this world and its people. It’s arrogant and honestly disgusting to me, to say that Bella alone is worth the creation of the world. Even if it's only Edward thinking it. I do not care, there are people far more worthy than Bella.

Keep dreaming bitch.

I could show her the real me, if I was brave enough to endure her horror and disgust.

Dude, at the most she could burst out in laughter (if she were normal). Seriously, I’d die laughing if I were to watch Edward sparkle.

“Of all the things about me that could frighten you, you worry about my driving.”

Dude, cars aren’t sentient things, you could provoke an accident with the speed, or you could slip, or run over someone… possibilities are endless. And as someone who lost a school mate in a car crush, it bothers me.

Edward! Alice protested shrilly. I love her Edward!

Oh, really Alice, you do? Why?

No, seriously, please tell me why. A vision alone isn’t enough to make some love another, I want a VALID reason.

She didn’t love Bella the way I did.

Of course she doesn’t, silly.

“But apparently your number wasn’t up in Phoenix,” I said, cutting off her justifications. “So I’d rather you stayed with me.”

How do you know? I mean, you haven’t talk about her life in Phoenix, so really, how do you know?

No—because her instincts were backwards.

No shock here, I’d say.

“You should tell Charlie, though.”

“Why in the world would I do that?” she asked, sounding horrified.

‘Cause he’s your dad and you live under his roof?

Just saying.

“You need a healthy dose of fear. Nothing could be more beneficial for you.”

I’m very tired of Edward’s bullshit, on his “fear me, but I can’t let you go, fear me” thing.

Annoying really.

***

Just one thing to say: I'm almost done, fuck yeah! I'm halfway chapter 12, so you guys can expect it tomorrow. And then, possibly, final thoughts.

Comments? Feel free to leave them.

Midnight Sun: 10. Theory

2011-03-22T20:11:00.000-07:00

Foreword: Book parts in pink and my snark in lilac.

10. Theory

“I thought we were past all the evasiveness,” she said, her tone critical and disappointed.

Dear Bella, you’ve been friends for a grand total of two weeks, maybe? And you just expect him to cough up everything you want to know?

Good one.

“My mind doesn’t work right? She asked, her voice rising with chagrin. “I’m a freak?”

Well Bella, you are right. You’re messed up, badly.

“Keep your eyes on the road!” she shouted.

“I’ve never been in an accident Bella. I never even gotten a ticket.” I grinned at her and touched my forehead.

Douche, at least look at the road!

This makes me angry, there are people who sometimes cross the street without looking or running and could get killed. Another is that there could be an accident and he’s not going to have time to break.

Yay for not giving a damn.

“Build in radar detector.”

Really Meyer, really?

I supposed this meant I was now free to slaughter the small, defenseless tribe on the coastline, were I inclined.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

Let’s clap and cheer when he slaughters defenseless people.

She felt guilty? What could she possibly have done to deserve censure of any kind?

…Were do I start…

Ahem! Yeah, Bella’s awkward flirting with Jacob was ridiculous, but hey we all do flirt. But then again, we usually don’t flirt in order to get information. Unless you’re into that.

No judgment here.

And how could I expect anyone to deny this girl what she wanted?

‘Cause she’s a special snowflake who should get everything she wants, right?

“I did some search on the internet.”

Ever practical.

Meyer, why couldn’t YOU do said research better? Why?

“You don’t care that I’m a monster? If I’m not human?”

“No.”

I started to wonder if she was entirely stable.

I’m going to say no. ‘Cause I’m a bitch like that.

She was in pain. How had I allowed this?

You actually didn’t. Bella’s been in “love” with you for a while now… for no real reason whatsoever.

“Tell me why you hunt animals instead of people,” she said, still anguished.

Dear God, Bella. You choose the most ridiculous things to anguish for.

[Just to clarify: My problem with Edward isn’t the fact that he’s a “vampire”, it’s that he’s a douche.]

I’ve noticed that people—men in particular—are crabbier when they’re hungry.

*Sigh*

Meyer, what did I tell you about you not knowing people?

People get crabby for a lot of reasons, not just because they’re hungry. Case in point: when I’m pmsing, I’m bitchier than usual.

But she was dead right, as usual.

Edward, just because what she said applied to you, doesn’t mean she’s right. She’s an idiot.

You’ve been crabby because you’re restraining yourself not to nom her, and bitching about how she’s ruining your life.

“I suppose, being you, it could have been much worse—and that possibility tormented me the entire time I was away. It was a very long three days. I really got on Emmett’s nerves.”

*Le sigh*

I give up, I really do. Bella = walking possible death waiting to happen.

“Then why weren’t any of you in school?” she demanded. Her irritation confused me.

Remember what you mentally told Mike? About being blind to Jessica’s affections? Yeah, well…

Obvious reason is obvious.

“I didn’t like it,” she said shyly, the skin over her cheekbones warming. “Not seeing you. It makes me anxious too.”

Co-dependency.

I mean, it’s ridiculous to think this is a “love story”. There is nothing here that makes their interactions romantic or at least courtship-like.

He smelled her bacon scent = ♥

He’s handsome and rude to her = ♥

Are you listening to me Meyer? I’m a romantically challenged woman, and even I know this sucks and this isn’t enough grounds to call you shitty wish fulfillment series a “love story” that’s better than certain ones you’ve trashed.

Bella cared for me too.

*Rolls eyes*

Of course she does.

Enough to cause her pain if I did the right thing and left her.

Someone please call the people in white, Bella needs them badly.

“Ah,” I groaned to myself. “This is wrong.”

“What did I say?” she asked, quick to take the blame on herself.

Your martyr-doom is ridiculous Bella. Calling the people in white, please.

“No.” Her lips pouted petulantly.

Man, I hate this woman. If there’s one thing I can’t stand is an obnoxiously petulant person.

I've sadly met a lot them.

Agony. “Are you crying?” I’d made her cry. I’d hurt her that much.

Christ on a cracker Bella, you’re absolutely pathetic and ridiculous. I don’t like you, so a guy is turning you down. It’s not the end of the motherfucking world, you know?

… But yeah, I keep forgetting, Edward Cullen is turning you away. That is… agonizingly painful.

“I was trying to remember how to incapacitate an attacker,” she said, her voice more composed.

Screaming bloody murder and a well aimed kick in the crotch works, you know?

And before you jump into my jugular, a guy once tried to pull me away and take me. My immediate reaction? A kick.

He let go immediately and I started to be loud and people began to stop to ask what was wrong, creepy dude bolted.

Her heartbeat stuttered and her lips fell open.

I am having a really silly mental image with that phrase. I really am.

She couldn’t love me the way I loved her—such an overpowering, all-consuming, crushing love would probably break her fragile body.

1.- Barf

2.- Don’t be stupid Edward, of course she does.

3.- Breaking Dawn’s morning after. Enough said.

Silk over glass… frighteningly breakable.

*Sigh* Barf. Over dramatic and ridiculous. Who describes someone as silk over glass?

She’s very good for you, isn’t she? So much compassion, so much control. I’m impressed.

What Edward did, isn’t compassion. He’s only thinking about other women now because of Bella.

He wouldn’t have given a damn had Bella not being targeted.

Yeah, I have a very low opinion on Edward, can’t you tell?

Just a vicious harpy, an ugly, bitter fate who could not bear for Bella to have the life she deserved.

Yes, Edward, life’s out to get Bella.

Go, Edward, he told me gently. I’ll make sure the rest of them safe. You get back to Bella.

Yay for Carlisle tipping the police… *snort*

I returned to the rocking chair.

I’m totally having a mental image of the movie Misery. And it’s totally creepy.

With a heedless smile on her lips, her sky colored eyes full of mischief, the angel formed Bella in such a fashion that there was no way I could possibly overlook her.

Apparently even divine creatures see fit to mess with Edward’s life by making Bella… well, Bella.

In this vision, I was not Bella’s sentence. She was my reward.

Well, I guess he chose to see it as the glass being half full.

A vampire angel—there was a stretch.

Be. Right. Back. I’m laughing my ass off.

***

Two more chapters and that's it ladies and gentlemen. Hurray for that, comments? Leave them!

Midnight Sun: 9. Port Angels

2011-03-22T19:56:00.000-07:00

Foreword: Book parts in pink and my snark in lilac.

Chapter 9. Port Angels

Oh man, this chapter doesn’t start well; it starts of course with female cattiness.

Bella still looks pissed. Ha ha. I can’t believe she’s so upset about it, though. At least she has a back up date for the prom.

Does he think she’s prettier than me? Does she think she’s prettier than me?

Does she really think that? Or does she want me to look like a cow on Saturday.

Ahh the fresh smell of female insecurity and cattiness. I love this series. [Mind my sarcasm ladies and gents.]

So, she was furious about Tyler’s presumption.

I have something to say: I was once in a situation close to Bella’s, however I wasn't furious. I was bothered. You know what I did? Talk to that person and let him know I was my own person, thank you very much, and that he shouldn’t speak for me. Ever.

Problem solved.

In Bella’s case she is, of course, too nice to say: Tyler, you’re a nice guy, but I just like you like a friend. And I don’t like dances, have fun.

This didn’t look like the kind of place Bella would be interested in—to new age for her practical person.

Don’t you love when Edward jumps into assumptions? I mean he doesn’t know her at all. So what if the store is new age? Maybe Bella likes to see stuff. I’m incredibly practical but, by God, do I love new age stores [Dragons!]

Was she lost? The possibility didn’t sound entirely out of character.

Bella = danger to self.

I get Meyer. I do.

…I think the baby has another ear infection… [trivial thought, according to Edward]

Yeah, worried mom (or dad), so very trivial.

Bella was not his first victim.

Here comes Edward the savior.

“Stay away from me” her voice was low and steady, not a scream.

You know, didn’t Charlie give her pepper spray? Hasn’t anyone told her that it’s better to be loud and cause a scene? Hell, to kick him in the crotch?

Oh wait, this is every-girl Bella.

You know what’s the irony in this? I read in Jezebel once about a 12 year old girl who fend off a possible kidnapper faking a 911 call with her ipod touch. A 12 year old. Let that sink in and then shake your head at Meyer.

But Bella locked her jaw and brace herself.

Scream for help you dimwit.

He was surprised—he’d expected her to try to run.

It’s common sense, Edward. One runs from danger.

Brave, this one. Maybe better, I guess… more fight in her.

Ok, so she’s brave for not try and get away? Unless he has a gun, she does have a chance to run.

The monster could hear the roar of my engine now, but he paid no attention, too intent on his victim.

This is happening in a small town, Bella could get away unless she’s at the end of a dead end alley, she could run and enter a store and ask the clerk for help…

…

Oh wait, that’s logic, there’s no logic in Twilight.

He was in the road, crossing towards her.

And she hasn’t TRIED to do anything? It’s called survivor instinct. Bella doesn’t have it.

When did she ever do what I ask? When did she ever do the safe thing?

Ok dude, shut up. You’re annoying me beyond human comprehension, she has no obligation to do what you ask, since you know, you two have been friends for a grand total or a month? Weeks?

Please explain me what is the safe thing? Because so far, it was foolish to wonder off on her own, but other than that, what has she done?

Like a magnet, she drew all things dangerous towards herself. I could not let her out of my sight.

I’m not even going to comment on the first part, we have been beaten over the head with Bella having shitty luck and being a klutz.

The second part? Oh Edward, as if you needed an excuse.

I tore through the town, ignoring all traffic guides.

Yay for being a responsible Cullen.

She wanted to know if I was okay.

Well, you did show up out of thin air speeding, made your car spin, told her to get in and are now driving like a maniac.

Can’t say I blame her.

“No,” I realize, and my tone seethed with rage.

Dude, you’re not helping the situation, calm down.

Even if she wasn’t at constant risk for some infuriating reason—some joke the universe was playing on me—even if I could be sure that she would be perfectly safe in my absence, I could not leave her alone in the dark.

Way to make this situation about you, Edward. Because of course it’s the universe conspiring against you.

Never mind she’s the one who falls down, gets cut, nearly crushed, nearly (possibly) gang raped. Oh no, this is about you.

“Just prattle about something unimportant until I calm down,” I instructed, my jaw still locked.

Oh geez, never mind the one who should be scared or nervous it’s her. No, never mind, do as he says ~~commands~~ Bella.

Like it had been before, the thread of violence coming through her lips was so hilarious—so comical it was jarring.

Dude, my cousin is 5’2” (and was 16 at the time) and she rugby tackled a dude that was 5’11” out of anger and held him down and beat him, badly. True fact.

(Memo to men and teen boys: Street harassment is not cool and is very unwanted. Even when you’re “throwing a compliment” to someone of your own school)

(Second memo: Never mess with any member of this family, we’ll hunt you down. We have a bad temper.)

“He’s telling everyone that he’s taking me to prom,” she said, her voice filled with her tiger-kitty anger.

For once, I sympathize with Bella. Been there, punched that. Can someone please explain to me, why Edward needs to degrade her verbally, always?

Sure she may not be able to kill, but anger can be real. Oh teen years, how I didn’t like them.

She didn’t seem to understand the appeal she held for the human boys at the high school.

Of course not, because Bella’ so ugly and not perfect like you.

I was trying to be good enough for her. It was an impossible goal. I would keep trying.

*Sigh*

Whatever you say Edward.

Was she in shock? Maybe tonight’s events hadn’t sunk in yet.

And they never will, she has no survival instinct.

Every inch closer I got to the town, the harder it was to hold on to my purpose.

Woah, Bella left town? On her own? I thought she just had gone a few blocks away.

Mind blown.

Jessica and Angela were finished eating, and now were truly worried about Bella.

Just how quick did they eat? How much time passed? Hell, how big is Port Angels that two people eat at leisure while everything else happened?

It couldn’t be more than a few minutes. Oh wait… logic.

Was this because she wasn’t used to being treated like a lady, or because she didn’t think of me as a gentleman?

No Edward, no. Girls and women are capable of opening car door on their own without breaking. Being treated like a lady or you being a “gentleman” has nothing to do with it.

She must be in shock. That was the only explanation for her calm.

Lack of survival instincts is another.

The horror was going to come crushing down on her momentarily, and an empty stomach wouldn’t help.

How about you take her home instead?

Whether that was the case or not, she was going to eat something.

Dude, the last person who said to me something remotely close to that, it was my mother.

He can’t be with her. [Waitress at the restaurant]

Female jealousy at its fines, thank you Meyer!

How could this small-minded woman find my physical lures—snares for prey—attractive, and yet be unable to see the soft perfection of the girl besides me?

*Insert massive eye roll here*

Edward, not every woman thinks other women are attractive. I don’t find Angelina Jolie beautiful and yet a lot of people do. You get where I’m going?

People were invariably cooperative when money was involved.

No, not everyone.

Why does he want privacy with her?

Meyer, please stop pretending you know people. And this crap about every female wanting Edward is absurd.

Just letting you know that.

…maybe I’ll write my number on his plate with ketchup…

*le sigh*

How tragic, listen waitress: You can do better!

“I dazzle people?”

“You haven’t notice?” she asked, still critical.

Funny thing that Edward was mentally berating Mike for not noticing Jessica’s attraction to him, but he’s “surprised” at the fact that he “dazzles”.

“I don’t think that will happen. I’ve always been very good at repressing unpleasant things,” she answered, a little breathless.

Is that even healthy? Just repressing everything? I’m going to say: No.

Did she have a lot of practice with unpleasant things, then? Was her life always this hazardous?

Funny how those ‘unpleasant’ things never get mentioned. Ever.

“You should be—a normal person would be. You don’t even look shaken.”

Not everyone reacts with shock in certain situations, for some, the adrenaline pumps faster and they don’t feel shock.

She didn’t recognize danger the way a human being should be able to.

That’s ‘cause she’s a Mary-Sue.

“I followed you to Port Angels,”

I’d be creeped out. But then again, I had a stalker.

She was the furthest thing from normal I’d encountered.

Mary-Sue, ‘nuff said

She was too vulnerable for this world.

Oh c’mon.

***

Comments? Feel free to leave one!

Midnight Sun: 8. Ghost

2011-03-22T18:56:00.000-07:00

Foreword: Book parks in pink and my snark in lilac.

Chapter 8. Ghost.

I hovered, invisible in the shadows, where I could follow the object of my love and obsession.

Because that is totally not creepy at all.

Anything that pleased her was in my good graces.

So… besides the sun, almost nothing? Just asking.

From the faintly smug expression on her face, hers was already done.

How come no one notices when Bella’s being a smug bitch but Edward? Oh yes, they worship the ground she walks on.

“Really, Mike, are you blind?”

I echoed her sentiment.

Unless Jessica has said: “Hey, Mike. Look I like you and would like to go out with you.” He really doesn’t have a clue, we women, can be very subtle and I know that men have a hard time understanding our ‘subtleness’. [Male friends, people, male friends]

He was off then, on to new fantasies that were just as vulgar as the ones about Bella, but now they only irritated me rather than infuriated.

Oh heaven’s forbid men (or women) have fantasies, right Edward? We all must always remain pure of thoughts as to not bother you.

As if she knew I was watching, as if she took pity on the agony I felt when I couldn’t see her, Bella came out to the backyard after long indoors hours.

Overdramatic I tell you.

Ah—more classics. She was an Austen fan.

Meyer, I dare you to read Sophie’s World by Jostein Gaarder and try to understand the book before then end. I might give you an ounce of respect I don’t have for you.

Ps. See, I can name drop books too!

How condescendingly I’d once judged Emmett for his thoughtless ways and Jasper for his lack of discipline.

Well, at least he acknowledges it. Now I would like to see an apology:

“Emmett, Jasper. I am sorry for being a condescending asshole and feeling above you both”

…

What? I can dream!

But I couldn’t ignore the rainbow sparkles that reflected onto her skin when I got closer.

Be right back, laughing my ass off.

She was dreaming of fictional characters. So much for my conceit.

Yours truly is still laughing.

I heard her worry aloud about leaving her father to prepare dinner alone, and smiled at this proof of my theory—yes, she was a care-taker.

Yeah Bella, ‘cause you know, Charlie hasn’t been living on his own for about 17 years. I’m surprise he didn’t starved to death.

I would not trespass her privacy the way the peeping tom would. I was here for her protection, […]

Yeah no. You’re still a very creepy peeping tom.

[…] not to leer like Mike Newton no doubt would, were he agile enough to move through the treetops the way I could. I would not treat her so crassly.

I’m going to take a wild guess and say that even Mike would know that climbing to other people’s houses is seriously messed up.

And of course Edward would never treat her crassly… he’s a gentleman.

I went for the shortest of hunting trips, contenting myself with smaller, gentler creatures that did not taste as good as the hunters […]

Yeah, it’s ok, at the end of the day he’s totally not fucking the ecosystem, right?

I would never be able to bear following behind them, driving at the speed limit—hideous thought.

*Sigh*

Listen Meyer, one of my friends died on a car crash because the driver was speeding. Believe me when I tell you, it’s a sad and horrible thing.

But of course, perfect Edward Cullen could never cause a car crush right? Since Edward’s reflexes are so good, and the car obeys his every will.

This love story she envisioned for me for me was careening towards tragedy more perceptibly every moment.

Oh Esme, please get another hobby.

Let me know when I’m allowed to talk to Bella.

Oh Alice, you’re pathetic and annoying.

You’re pathetic. I can’t believe you missed the game last night just to watch somebody sleep, Emmett grumbled.

Emmett tells it like it is. I like him.

It was a relief to be in motion, to know that I was getting closer to Bella with every mile that flew away under my tires.

Hurray for not giving a damn about transit rules!

Midnight Sun: 7. Melody

2011-03-19T17:46:00.000-07:00

Foreword: Book parts in pink, my snark in lilac.

7. Melody

Attraction.

Not the same thing as love, but tied up in it inextricably.

Edward, you are already in love with Bella, and the attraction you feel is to her bacon scent. After all, you did say she was “interesting” looking.

I had no idea if Bella was attracted to me.

Here, I’ll answer that for you: Yes, she is. Just like every single female in this series (except the Cullen girls).

It seemed unlikely that Bella could be entertaining the same kind of thoughts that Jessica Stanley used to have.

Yes, she does.

And yet…as I remembered those fantasies that used to repulse me, but remembered with Bella instead of Jessica’s place.

Oh wow.

How hypocritical of Edward, Jessica CAN’T have fantasies that most teens have, but Bella can. And another thing, shouldn’t they also bother you? Oh wait, I forgot you’re in love, thus, is ok.

Attraction was an impossible dilemma, because I was already too attracted to Bella in the worst way.

Yes you want to nom her.

The love I felt for Bella had come purely, but now the waters were muddied.

I’m going to disagree with you, Edward. The “love” didn’t come purely, because it’s not love, it’s obsession. Two very different things, you see, you feel attracted to her for her scent and you’re curios since you can’t read her mind. But that doesn’t mean you love her.

They wouldn’t let me play; only Alice would play games with me anymore.

Dude, you read minds. It’s practically cheating.

Upstairs, Esme paused what she was doing and cocked her head to the side.

Meyer, Edward can’t know she cocked her head unless he sees her do it. One of the big rules of first point of view and you don’t know it? Why am I not surprised?

Edward is playing again, Esme thought joyously, a smile breaking across her face.

What did I just say? He’s a mind reader, he’s not omnipresent you know?

Why killing Isabella Swan had not bothered her conscience at all.

With Rosalie, it was always about vanity.

Seriously Meyer, seriously?

She’ll have to love you back. If she’s a bright girl. But I can’t imagine anyone being so slow they couldn’t see the catch you are.

[Note: the quote was cut and pasted in pieces, I wanted to show Esme’s thoughts]

Gee, Meyer. By those standards I guess I’m slow…

Oh yeah wait, no. I have a brain and I think Edward is an asshole and a pretentious one at that.

“But I want to know”

I laughed at the whining tone she put one.

Alice, there’s thing called private conversations. Also, some people would call you rude for being so intrusive (I’d be one of those).

Rosalie actually thought the girl was plain. How could she believe that? It seemed incomprehensible to me. A product of jealousy, no doubt.

Edward, before her bacon scent hit you, you called her “interesting”. You only thought her beautiful after Alice informed you of her vision and her scent hit you.

So there.

“Fires and earthquakes and tornados! Ugh! When was the last time you watched the news? Have you seen the kind of things that happen to them? Burglaries and homicides…”

“Whoa, whoa! Hold up, there, kid. She lives in Forks remember? So she gets rained on.”

Edward’s a worry rat XD and Emmett displays common sense. Good on you, Emmett.

“Well, I can’t really see Rosalie’s allure, either,” I said rudely.

Wish fulfillment. I have to constantly remind myself that this series is sorely for Meyer’s wish fulfillment.

“Alice would call if there was any basis for your panic attack. She’s as weird about this girl as you are.”

Emmett, thank you for having common sense. I’d buy you a beer, but you can’t drink it.

“There’s no point in hurrying back—it’s going to be sunny, anyway. Alice said we were free from school until Wednesday.”

Please explain me how they pass with all those absences.

Exactly like a crazy person.

Emmett says it like it is. Thank you man.

I remembered the oil this time…[goes on]

God you’re such a creep.

She had her hands folded under her cheek like a small child, her mouth was slightly open.

Yay for childlike descriptions of Bella.

Nothing was right when I was away from her.

Clingy much? Why does Edward make everything so dramatic? I’ll never understand Meyer’s way of thinking.

I didn’t own her. She wasn’t mine.

Did you forget this bit on the following books? ‘Cause, damn, you went overboard.

I smiled gently as I wondered whether or not she had fallen in the ocean.

We get it Meyer, we do: Bella’s a danger to herself.

I was angry with the sun when it began to rise.

Dude, you have issues.

Why would Bella have come to sit here alone—and she had been alone, no doubt about that—in the middle of the wet, murky forest?

Some people enjoy nature? I’m trying to be helpful here.

Not only did she have bad luck, but she courted it.

Dear Meyer: O rly? Can you please stop that? It’s really annoying, being klutzy and having bad luck aren’t character flaws.

***

Here's another chapter, another one coming soon. Anybody reading? If you are, feel free to leave a comment.

You are what you eat (Of birria, cake and Voldemort)

2011-03-08T18:49:00.000-08:00

So as I mentioned before, my birthday was this past month. But for several reasons I decided to celebrate this past saturday, on the menu? Spinach dip, birria and piña colada cake.

The spinach dip is kind of obligated now, since its perfect for a small bite before the big meal. It's birria we're talking about here, so I do expect for people to eat a second serving.

Now, if you have never eaten birria and you're wondering what it is, well is sort of a stew. Kind of.

It's pieces of brisket cooked in a chili sauce (dry chilies, onion, garlic, tomatoes, cumin, vinegar, cloves) for several hours in the oven. And at the end, the meat is tender and spicy and very delicious.

My cake? Homemade. I have a horrible experience with store bought cakes or box mixes (for some odd reason all I can taste is oil and eggs), so I made my own cake. Coconut bread, pineapple jam and cream cheese frosting (infused with coconut extract and pinapple juice).

Which knock off another of my 15 recepies every homecook should know list. That is something I hadn't mention here, but I'm working my way up.

And if you're wondering why is Voldemort in the tittle at all. Well, I just have this image for anyone who's reading to laugh a bit.

Midnight Sun: 6.- Blood Type

2011-03-08T18:32:00.000-08:00

As per usual, book parts in pink. My snark is in my lilac tone.

6.- Blood Type

Not Mike Newton’s eyes, because I couldn’t stand any more of his offensive fantasies, and not Jessica Stanley’s, because her resentment towards Bella made me angry in a way that was not safe for the pretty girl.

On Mike: Teenager have hormones, teenager have fantasies. Get the fuck over it, I refuse to believe in all the years that Edward’s been alive he hasn’t “seen” any fantasies… oh wait, my bad. None of those involved Bella.

On Jessica: Edward, thoughts and actions are two very different things. Learn to know to understand the difference on that.

I was surprised watching her stumble through the day [...]

It was true that she often had trouble staying upright.

She was clumsy.

I didn't know why this was so funny to me, but I laughed out loud [...]

There was nothing graceful about her now. Mr. Varner watched as she caught the toe of her boot on the crapet and literally fell on the chair.

I laughed again.

I mean, c’mon Meyer, if she’s so clumsy how the hell is she still alive? You almost make her sound like if she were a danger to herself.

And isn’t Edward cute? Laughing at Bella for being clumsy while he’s so perfect. Who doesn’t like that? [Mind my sarcasm, again]

Can I talk to Bella now?

Alice, do you really need his approval? You could be Bella’s friend regardless of Edward’s douchery.

The moment Bella walked through the door, her eyes flashed to the table my siblings sat. She stared for a moment, and then her forehead crumpled and her eyes dropped to the floor. She hadn’t noticed me there.

She looked so…sad.

Let us all take a wild guess as to why Bella had a sad, yes?

[Let’s be honest here, we all know why]

I motioned with my finger for her to join me. She looked so startled by this that I wanted to tease her again.

So I winked, and her mouth fell open.

Guys, I’m seriously laughing my ass off at the mental image of Edward winking, let alone crooking his finger in a “come hither” manner.

You fail Meyer, big time.

She stumbled twice on her way to my table, though there was nothing on her way but perfectly even linoleum.

^Really Meyer, really?!

“I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly.”

Rude much, Edward? I mean, c’mon she just sat at your table and that’s the first thing that comes out?!

My stalker had better manners.

I laughed at her expression. “You look worried.” It really shouldn’t be funny… she should worry.

Someone please explain this to me: How is Edward supposed to be this new paragon of masculinity that we find desirable?

“Yes—giving up trying to be good.” And, apparently, trying to be casual. “I’m going to do what I want now, and let the chips fall where they may.”

Number 1: Bella has no fucking clue what he’s talking about.

Number 2: Who talks this way?

Number 3: Edward, you aren’t good. I’m getting tired of telling you that.

“Well, we can try, I suppose. But I’m warning you now that I’m not a good friend for you.”

Then why, in the seven levels of hell are you going after her?

…

Yeah, I remember, he’s in love.

“You say that a lot.”

“Yes, because you’re not listening to me,” I said, too intense again. “I’m still waiting for you to believe it. If you’re smart, you’ll avoid me.”

Edward = Douchebag. Yes/yes?

I mean, c’mon. He’s the one who’s going after her, not her (not yet any way)! So please, Edward, unless you actually give her a reason* why, she won’t take you seriously.

*Ignoring her for a whole month and some of the insults he’s already thrown her way would be good enough for me, but hey, this is Bella.

“As long as I’m being… not smart, we’ll try to be friends?”

“That sounds about right.”

Self respect Bella, do you know what that means?! Run for the hills, you still can save yourself.

Holy shit! Bella was feisty for a moment! And it was justified! And Edward admitted a wrong! I’m shocked.

“I don’t like double standards.” ßBella says this.

Oh, now that’s just rich coming from you Meyer.

“I don’t know who you’re talking about,” she said in an icy voice. “But I’m sure you’re wrong any way.”

I very much enjoyed the way she disowned him with her dismissive sentence.

Ok, Edward, you said “your boyfriend”. You never said “Mike Newton…” she doesn’t know who the fuck you’re talking about. She’s not a mind reader.

Christ on a cracker.

“That’s not very creative,” I chided her, trying to hide my fresh relief.

Why is he such a condescending asshole? Why?

Of course I was bad. Wasn’t I rejoicing now, that she thought better of me than I deserved? If I were a good person, I would have stayed away from her.

Honestly now, I read the four previous books and I still don’t understand why some people think Edward is good. I just don’t. I have the odd feeling we weren’t reading the same book.

“Well, I’m going,” she said. This didn’t surprise me. She was responsible—she always did the right thing.

Edward, you don’t know Bella (yet). You aren’t qualified to say she’s responsible or say that she always does the right thing. ‘Cause she doesn’t. You’re just biased.

And, by the way, I adore you… in frightening, dangerous ways.

My inner (very well hidden) romantic heart is rolling its eyes at you Edward.

“Put me down,” she ordered in a weak voice—embarrassed again, I guessed from her expression. She didn’t like to show weakness.

You know, some people don’t like being carried around, you know?

She nodded, understanding now. “There’s always one.”

I stiffed a laugh. Trust Bella to be that one.

One of my bffs faints with needles and he fainted at the story of one survivor of female mutilation. I fail to see Edward, how that is funny.

I personally feel weak at the sight of blood and I can’t stand seeing operations. The more I read this, the more I dislike Edward.

I tried to disguise my laughter with coughing.

Douche.

Why did Bella have to be so difficult?

Dude, no one’s making you stay there, nor being Bella’s care taker. You willingly did.

“Honestly—I’ve seen corpses with better color.”

I won’t even touch the how he’s seen those corpses. But I will say this: You deserve to be punched, hard you asshole.

What’s up with all those insults to Bella? How does that make him desirable?

Her concern was surely just pity. She was kind. That was all.

I know this is Bella whom we’re talking about, but she could have been concerned out of care, you know. Some people do care about others.

Just throwing it out there.

Her small nose wrinkled. “I smelled the blood.”

And with this quote mrs. Meyer tries to further hint that Bella’s special by having her smell the blood from another student who’s entering the nurse office.

“Well, I can—that’s what makes me sick. It smells like rust…and salt.”

See my previous comment.

She acted human…sort of. But she didn’t think like a human, or respond like one.

That’s because she’s a Mary-Sue, Edward.

And by the way, how does a human act? How does a human think? How does a human respond? Explain Edward.

Her eyelashes fluttered, and her heart sped up. Too young, get a hold of yourself!

Barf.

We get it Meyer, we really do. Every female wants Edward.

Normal human girls wouldn’t raise their faces to the drizzle that way; normal human girls usually wore makeup, even here in this wet place.

Really Meyer, really?!

I refuse to believe that all girls are so concerned about their faces to never enjoy dancing on the rain, to never play under it or to raise their faces to it.

Stop this bullshit, Bella isn’t a special snowflake.

“Mike-schmike,” she said, dismissive again. I smiled widely.

Bitch.

“Where do you think you’re going?” I was almost angry that she was leaving me.

And here it comes, the Twilight scene that pissed me off so much I had to stop reading, play Josh Groban’s music and eat chocolate.

“Didn’t you hear me promise to take you safely home? Do you think I’m going to let you drive in your condition?”

You know, I would have asked to call home… oh wait, martyr Bella. She doesn’t like bothering people.

I pulled her back to my car carefully, as I knew that walking forward was challenging enough for her.

“Let go!” she said, twisting sideways and nearly tripping.

Tequila, how do I love you? Let me count the shots.

“I’ll just drag you back,” I promised, enjoying the chagrin on her face when she realized I meant it.

Tequila, my old friend, good to drink you again.

Ok, he’s enjoying her chagrin. And this is douche is some women ideal man?

We’re fucked.

“This is completely unnecessary,” she said coldly. I thought she looked embarrassed under the pique.

Edward, she might actually be pissed at you for actually threatening her to drag her to your car.

Of course, you know and understand Bella better than she does herself… *rolls eyes*

Bella smiled. “She looks a lot like me, but she’s prettier.”

I doubted that.

Ahh, Bella’s ugly duckling thinking rears it head.

“I have too much Charlie in me,” she went on. “She’s more outgoing than I am, and braver.”

I doubted that, too.

You know what, I hate agreeing with Bella, but I’m sure her mother is both of those things. Oh and Bella? It’s called DNA, it comes from both parents.

“She’s irresponsible and slightly eccentric, and she’s a very unpredictable cook. But she’s my best friend.”

1.- Bella always had food on the table, clean clothes and a roof over her head. Not a single word of abuse, nor did she lack education, nor did she work. Thus, René was a responsible parent.

2.- What’s wrong about being eccentric?

3.- You know, being an unpredictable cook has it advantages. You never fall into a routine.

4.- “Best friend”? Yeah right, Bella. Keep telling that to yourself.

Again, she sounded more like a parent than child.

I doubt your judgment, Edward. I really do.

She laughed again, then sighted. “Well, someone has to be the adult.”

See the comment #1 on René being irresponsible.

I could see it now…how the irresponsible mother helped explain Bella’s maturity.

Bullshit, some people mature faster than other. Irresponsible parents or not.

“Does it matter?” she asked. “I want her to be happy…and he is who she wants.”

The unselfishness of her comment would have shocked me, except that it fit in all too well with what I learned of her character.

Meyer, you don’t know a lot of single mothers, do you?

Little story: I’m a single mother child, whose father has never been in the picture. And nothing would make me happier than seeing my mother happy.

If she were to find a good man who made her happy, who respected her and loved her, I would be terribly happy for her. Because she has sacrificed a lot for me, and seeing her happy would be terrific.

That doesn’t make me unselfish; it makes me a decent person. And hopefully, a good daughter who wants her mother happy.

Do you understand that, Edward?

“Would she extend the same courtesy to you, do you think? No matter who your choice was?”

I can only speak for my mother but, her thought process would be something among the lines of:

Does he love her? Does he respect her and treat her well? Is he a good man? Does he treat her like an equal? Does he work?

Yes to all the above? Be happy, dear.

“I’m sure he’s already heard. There are no secrets in Forks.” She said the name of the town with distinct distaste.

You know Bella, schools kind of notify parents when their kid is sick and was sent/needs to go home*. It’s just not gossip.

*They do so in my neck of the woods.

“What are you going to do?” she asked, not sounded happy with my revelation.

Gee, I wonder why.

As I stared at her, I began to feel almost agonized at the thought of saying even a temporarily goodbye.

*rolls eyes* I wonder why.

Run, Bella, run. I love you too much, for your good or mine.

There it is again, the word love.

However I would like an explanation on how or why Edward came to love her, her bacon worthy scent doesn’t count.

Just like an angry kitten that believes it’s a tiger.

Why do you have to be such an asshole? And on top of that you are a condescending asshole.

I don’t like you Edward. Not one bit.

Longest chapter to date and the Tequila resents me drinking him so much. Next chapter coming soon.

Comments? Fire away.

Midnight Sun: Chapter 5. Invitation

2011-02-28T03:43:00.000-08:00

As usual, book parts in pink, snark in lilac.
Oh and by the way, this chapter made me angry. Very, very angry. Proceed with caution.

5. Invitation

High school. Purgatory no longer, it was now purely hell. Torment and fire…yes, I had both.

Dear Meyer, would you kindly stfu about high school= purgatory/hell? It’s annoying, and your miserable attempt of making a martyr out of Edward is failing miserably. Also, he could drop classes.

To please Esme and protect the others, I stayed in Forks.

No, you did not. It’s called obsession Edward, and by the way, you’re in a massive hole of denial it’s not even funny.

I’d comforted myself with the fact that her pain would be nothing more than a pinprick—just a tiny sting of rejection—compared to mine.

Asshole. He really thinks so highly of himself, I can’t even laugh at him anymore. I’m just getting angry.

Why? What did the change mean? (Bella being friendly when he’s back in school)

You know, not everyone is a selfish, unmannered prick. Some people are capable of being nice. Just throwing it out there.

(Yes, I know Bella’s a bitch)

More than a month passed, and everyday it got harder.

And we’re already a month in after the accident? Heaven’s Meyer, I take my LotR parodies more seriously than you do these books.

What is she thinking now?

You know, I always thought that Edward not being a mind reader would have been a better plot idea, at least that way evens out the field.

When she spoke to other human students, I analyzed her every word and tone.

You guys know what I’m about to say, don’t you? The word starts with an “O”.

Who would have ever dreamed that such generic, boring mortal could be so infuriating?

Here’s one of the reasons I dislike Edward so much: He’s such a judgmental asshole.

He knows basically nothing of Mike, and here he is, calling him generic and boring. But his standards are crap, for all he knows Mike has no life outside thinking of Bella, funny thing, he’s doing the exact same thing. And who knows, generic and boring people have grown up to be awesome, you douche bag.

He knew nothing about her.

Nor do you, stop fooling yourself thinking that you do.

He’d created a Bella in his head that didn’t exist—a girl just as generic as he was.

Actually Edward, he’s doing her a BIG favor with that. Just saying.

Ps. You’re doing the same thing, by the way.

He hadn’t observed the unselfishness and bravery that set her apart from other humans, he didn’t hear the abnormal maturity of her spoken thoughts.

What unselfishness, she moving to Forks? No, Edward, no. That isn’t unselfishness, that’s being a wanna be martyr. Bravery, why? Not saying out loud that she hurt her head just to avoid being a bother isn’t bravery. It’s being stupid, I should know.

Abnormal maturity? My ass. She’s an immature, whinny, selfish brat. I’d wish you could hear her thoughts.

Bella was good.

How in the seven levels of hell are you capable of knowing that?! She’s just having a motherfucking conversation! That’s not being good.

Being a good person involves more that “pretend to care” about other people. It actually involves caring about other people, no matter who they are. She isn’t a good person, you asshole. No good person compares other to dogs, stereotypes people without knowing them, mocks or disrespect his/her parents… oh man I’m angry. Have to move on.

Kind and self-effacing and unselfish and loving and brave—she was good through and through.

Oh look at this, my good friend the O Rly owl is here:

Edward? I hate to break it to you, but the owl and I disagree about Bella being "good".

I frequently amused myself by imagining backhanding him across the room into the far wall… it probably wouldn’t injure him fatally…

And teen girls and grown up women think this is the perfect boyfriend. That he’s so good. God helps us all.

And, finally, the last of my torments, the most painful: Bella’s indifference. As I ignored her, she ignored me.

Well, that would logical, no? You’re a jerk and you expect her to fawn over you when you ignore her? Psst, yeah right. (I know, I know Breaking Dawn)

“Bella’s going to stare at Edward in a minute. Look normal.” Alice said

Holy crap, precise much Alice? Also, what’s up with Meyer always give a price time for random situations like this?

She pouted. Alice was anxious to form her envisioned friendship with Bella.

Two things: 1.- Alice, you could go and introduce yourself and try to form said friendship.

2.- Alice is anxious that her vision could fail.

Yeah, I don’t like Alice, can you tell?

And a few moments latter we have the Twilight Scene where Mike tries to get Bella to ask him to the dance.

She didn’t look away, though I stared with inappropriate intensity, trying vainly to read her thoughts through her liquid brown eyes.

Who talks like this anymore? And what’s up with Meyer’s love for liquid eyes?

“What?” She finally said. “Are you talking to me again?” There was an edge of resentment that was, like her anger, endearing.

Only you Edward could find anger and resentment endearing. But seriously, how did you expect her to react? You ignored her for a freaking month!

“I’m being very rude, I know. But it’s better this way really.”

Care to specify what are you talking about?

“It’s better if we’re not friends.”

Oh that. Well, honestly, someone treats me like Edward did for a month and says this out of random, I’d agree.

“Regret? Regret for what? I demanded.

“For not letting that stupid van squish me!” she snapped.

Ok, drama queen much Bella? Seriously, why does she think the world hates her so much it would be better off without her?

Meyer, explain please.

“You think I regret saving your life?”

“I know you do,” she retorted.

Quite arrogant of you Bella, to assume people would want you dead. Remember what I said about good people? Yeah, she’s not looking good, is she?

“Thank you,” she said in a cold, severe voice.

Her tone brought back my irritation.

“You’re welcome,” I said just as coldly.

Idiots.

Then again, Eric and Tyler try to have Bella take them to the dance and incur in Edward’s pity, ‘cause he’s an asshole like that.

I measured Tyler Crowley as a rival, knowing it was wrong to do so. He seemed tediously average and unremarkable to me, but what did I know of Bella’s preferences?

What did I said about average people? And Edward, measuring them at your standards doesn’t make you any more likeable, it makes you an arrogant asshole.

I was repulsed with myself as I watched toss again. How was I any better than some sick peeping tom? I wasn’t any better. I was much, much better.

On the plus side of this, he admits it. On the down side, creepy as fuck.

I slid it slowly aside, cringing at each faint groan of the metal frame. I would have to find some oil for next time…

See my previous statement. Done? Ok, now fetch your strongest liquor of choice.

I went to sit the old rocking chair in the far corner of the room.

Because that’s not creepy at all. Right, guys?

I could not understand why I had not found her beautiful immediately.

Because you’re a massive jerk? And because you are suddenly in love with Bella?

I don’t know.

She was dreaming of me, and it wasn’t even a nightmare.

Well no shit, Sherlock. I read Twilight, you know? We all know this is “The Greatest Love Story Ever Told^TM”, and it’s also the one where “They Fall In Love At First Sight^tm” and of course: “Boy Meets Girl, Boy Is A Jerk To Said Girl Until He Saves Her And Realizes He’s In Love”

My self, also, had frozen as it was—my personality, my likes and dislikes, my moods and my desires; all fixed in place.

Well now, look at what we have here. So you are no better than those teens you’ve been criticizing, you’re worst. At least they will grow up and be responsible adults, man it must really suck for you Edward.

Ironically, this bit makes me like Emmett a bit more, why? Because he’s a lighthearted guy you want to hang with. And now that I think about it, it makes me dislike Alice even more.

I loved her, and so I would try to be strong enough to leave her.

You know Edward, had you done so, it would probably be the most unselfish thing you’ve ever done. Either I’m feeling nice or the tequila is finally hitting me.

I watched her sleep until the sun rose behind the eastern clouds, plotting and breathing.

Yeah, totally not creepy. [Mind my sarcasm]

“Bella, it’s not my fault if you are exceptionally unobservant.”

Why are you like this Edward? Why do you have to use thinly veiled insults to her?

You don’t endear yourself to people by doing this.

“Bella, you are utterly absurd” I snapped.

Ok, I should point out that Bella’s angry that Edward is seemly enjoying her being uncomfortable and laughing in her face. She again, repeats that Edward wants her dead (that he’s trying to annoy her to death), cue him being a pmsing douche.

Seriously Edward, not even at my worst pms or menstrual pains am I such a bitch that I laugh at other people (unless someone is joking around).

“But can your truck make it there on one tank gas?”

He’s trying to give her a ride to Seattle, while insulting her car.

“It would be more… prudent for you not to be my friend.”

Note that it’s you who’s talking to her and stalking her.

“You really should stay away from me,”

Make up your fucking mind, yes?

This might kill me, or at the very least make me go insane. Wish me luck for the following chapter guys. If you wish to drop a comment, feel free to do so.

Chapters 6 and 7 will be up on the next few days.

Midnight Sun: Chapter 4. Visions

2011-02-27T23:34:00.000-08:00

Your very friendly remainder:
Book parts are in pink.
My bitchfest are in lilac.

4. Visions

Like a stalker. An obsessessed stalker. An obsessessed vampire stalker.

And here, ladies and gentlemen is when the downward spiral begins. Brace yourselves and fetch your liquor of choice.

Mr. Banner cleared his throat. "Er, right..." he said, my cold stare making his voice sound a bit strained.

Edward, Mr. Banner is not at fault for your problems. If school bothers you so much, then stop attending; you choose to go back after being in the hospital with Bella, Mr. Banner is worried for two of his students, and would it really kill you to just answer the question? A simple: "Tyler's hurt, nothing serious. And Bella just had a little shock, but fine” would do.

Also: You are a douche.

It just seemed so... so unchivalrous to slander the girl behind her back, especially when she was proving more trustworthy than I could have dreamed.

You know, she almost got crushed by a van. Had she said something, people would just assume that she’s in shock and saying you saved her because she saw you before the accident happened.

Yes. I would fight for her. Against my family. I shuddered.

What did I tell you? Obsessed, I repeat my first statement on this chapter: fetch your liquor of choice.

Her first priority would not be rightness, but me.

Edward’s talking about Esme here, by the way. He’s thinking who in their family would fight with him.

Proof that Esme is totally biased.

I could imagine how the girl would react to my kidnapping her.

*Sigh* Ed, you and your motherfucking “family” need some serious counseling.

And dear Mrs. Meyer: If you think that Edward is a hero who needs to be praised and is worthy of love, then fuck you. He’s not.

If I were to kill her by accident… I wasn’t certain exactly how much pain that would cause me, but I knew it would be multifaceted and intense.

Why, hello there miss Raven, I believe you’re turning into a broken record: Obsessed.

Edward, a few things: 1.- You’re such a drama queen and 2.- What about her parents?

Please explain me how your pain would be “multifaceted” or intense compared to two parents worried about their missing daughter?!

Oh wait! I forgot! You love her! Silly me, your love is bigger than that of her parents. Of course.

Then they’re off to have a “family meeting” about the incident, which I’ll spare you from reading. All you need to know it’s this: Kill Bella (Rosalie/Jasper/Emmett[?]) vs. Woe-Bella (Edward)

Then, this little piece of assholery from Edward:

“Yes, Rosalie, we all know how proficient assassin you are,” I snarled.

Oh that’s rich coming from you, you asshole. Mr-I-judge-people-for-their-thoughts-and-kill-accordingly.

Fuck you.

Most sincerely,

Little miss Raven.

“I like it here! There’s so little sun, we get to be almost normal.”

Rosalie, as much as I like you, I have to correct you. You guys don’t interact, you cloud yourselves in mystery, no one ever sees any of you doing anything “normal”. Thus you aren’t.

“Secondly, she’s my friend. At least, she’s going to be.”

How convenient for Meyer. Alice’s having a vision of her and Bella, in that moment. Another thing, why Alice’s vision are always treated as truths? Why? Human nature is flimsy so often, Bella could get to know Alice and go: “Oh what a bitch” and pretend to like her, just so Alice shut up.

“I’m going to love her someday, Jazz.”

Yes, that makes perfect sense. (See the next quote)

I have news for you Alice: My bff and I met almost 10 years ago, but just because I knew she was a cool person, it never crossed my mind that I would grow to love her like a sister.

Ok, I had to screencap this part for several reasons:
1.- Alice’s “confirmation” of Edward’s “love” for Bella. By saying that she will love her too, she’s implying that she knows Edward loves Bella. Funny thing, Edward hasn’t used the word “love” yet, he’s admitted to obsession but not love.

2.- Alice’s manipulative way to push her vision to reality. Look at the way she says: “more inevitable than the sun rising”; Alice dear, didn’t your visions changed according to the decisions made?

3.- Alice’s skepticism on Edward’s ability to change the future. Hypothetically, he could change it. Hell, Bella could change it. (Please, indulge me. I know how this series end.)

Now, this:

Either he’ll kill her himself—she turned to meet my gaze again, glaring—which would really irritate me, Edward, not to mention what it would do to you.

Let’s go over this slowly: Bella’s death would irritate Alice, why? Because it would mess with her vision of them being bffs. (Yes, I am aware that this is my dislike for Alice showing its head again, but I don’t care.)

Worst of all: Esme’s…joy.

Ok, here Esme’s happy knowing that Edward might get a mate. Yeah, fuck that she might die, lose family, friends, a chance of beautiful life… fuck it all, Edward will have someone.

And people think this is good?! Kill me now, please.

I could not let Alice’s visions direct me.

Woah, first smart thought Edward has had. I’m in shock.

Short one, I know, now let's brave onto chapter 5!
If you want to comment on something, feel free to do so.

A few things:

2011-02-27T23:00:00.000-08:00

So, if you've noticed that I've been kind of silent during these past few days, I really have a good reason: I had a heart scare.

I was feeling chest pains which scared the ever living daylights out of me, why? My grandmother suffers from heart problems. Her mom and her sister died of heart problems and to be honest, I was scared. Migraines I could handle, telling my grandmom I inherited a heart problem, not so much.

Luckly, I'm doing ok. Nothing's wrong with my heart, according to my doc (yes, I went to my doc and had test done. I am responsible), so I'm happy on that front. However, I discover that I might be infertile. Oh joy.

And then on the 23rd, it was my birthday. I'm officially 25.
On the 24th, my nephew was born. I'm an aunt for the 5th time now. Welcome to the madness Diego :)

As of today, my favorite singer Josh Groban and his brother are celebrating their respective bdays, so congrats to both of them.

Here's a vid of one of my favorite songs of his, Pearls with Angelique Kidjo, enjoy.

Midnight Sun: Chapter 3. Phenomenon

2011-02-07T20:49:00.000-08:00

Friendly remainder: Book parts are in pink, commentary from yours truly is in lilac.

"I didn't like feeling a coward," I admitted

No Edward, that is not why you came back and you damn well know it. You came back because you are obsessed already with her scent. That's why you came back.

"Better that than to put her in danger. She'll be gone in a year or two."

"You're right, I know that." Contrarily, though, his words only made me more anxious to stay. The girl would be gone in a year or two...

See, what did I tell you? Obsessed.

"Yes, Rosalie might, but she owes you."

She owes him nothing.

I could picture that-- I could see the girl dressed all in white and walking at a measured pace, her arm through her father's.

I mean, seriously? He's imagining Bella marry, Edward please, get another hobby.

It was odd, the pain that image caused me. I couldn't understand it.

And right here, Meyer is trying to make the reader believe that Edward is already in love with Bella, otherwise, why bother with this? Why bother to think of someone else's possible wedding?

Here's the problem I have with that, Edward is attracted to her scent. And his inability to read her mind make him curious, but other that that he doesn't know her. There's no need for him to feel pain. At all.

How much of this reluctance came from my obssessive curiosity, and how much came from my unsatisfied appetite?

And there it is, Edward's obsessive curiosity. Your appetite, Edward? Weren't you just hunting a few moments (hours?) ago with Carlisle?

"You do realize that you sound like a bogus gypsy at a carnival, right?"

Dude, she always sounds like a bogus future teller, you barely noticing?! [Yes, this is my dislike for Alice rearing its head]

Emmett and Rosalie were oblivious, having another of their moments, gazing at each other's eyes with wonder--it was rather disgusting to watch from the outside.

First hint of tenderness between Emmett and Rosalie and Edward's being a douche. But don't worry Edward, everybody and their mother will roll their eyes at your and Bella's corniness. And some of us, will gag. So piss off.

Or maybe I was just being bitter because I was the only one alone.

Yes, bingo. Your own fault, really, though.

Of course, the first thing I did when we reached school was to look for the girl.

Ok, it should be quite obvious at this point in this chapter to know that he's obsessed with Bella.

I added to this to my small list: she was a serious person, a responsible person.

Edward, can you tell me how you're able to know that a person is responsible with just by watching them park? Because you drive like a maniac and according to the lot of you, you are "responsible"

In the hundredth of a second... [quote goes on]

Specific much?

The van shuddered and shivered against the unyielding obstacle of my arms, then swayed balancing unstably on the two far tires.

And no one noticed this? Seriously Meyer, people aren't stupid.

I let the van drop, now that it could not hurt her. It crashed to the pavement, all windows shattering in unison.

Before I go on, I must say that Bella's unconscious on all this. Her head hit the pavement with a crack, according to Edward.
Back into the van, I repeat my previous statement: no one saw this. That's awfully convenient for you Meyer.

Many were surprised to see me here besides Bella, but all concluded--as there was no other possible conclusion--that they had just not noticed me standing by the girl before the accident.

Meyer, people aren't stupid. Where do you get this idea from? I know that is awfully convenient for you that all people didn't "notice" Edward, because let's face it, you made it so that people stared at them and now they didn't notice. Bullshit.

Another thing, people are seeing Edward there; I would definitely be questioning him hard or doubting his story. The van had dents on it, for fuck's sake!

I wanted to iron out the indentation my shoulders had made against the tan car [quote goes on]

And no one noticed Edward left dents on the second car?! Bullshit.

She was a quiet martyr--she'd prefer to suffer in silence.

Meyer, don't you know that unattended head injuries can be deadly? I'm going to take a wild guess and say no.

Seriously now, people die from head injuries. Brain swelling can be dangerous, I know this first had. I've been suffering migraines since I was 17, when my doctor saw the x-rays of my brain, he flat out told me he was surprised I hadn't collapse [at the very least], the swelling was really bad. Now imagine hitting yourself on ice.

So Meyer, if you want Bella to be a martyr... fine. But does she really have to be so stupid here?

Though Bella's father's thoughts were past words, the panic and concern emanating out of the man's mind drowned just about every other thought in the vicinity.

One thing I want to mention here: Bella complains in the series that Charlie doesn't like her and look at that. Charlie's worried and concerned for his daughter, but of course, Bella has her head so far up her ass she thinks he hates her.

Tyler Crowley, the van's driver, looked to be hurt worse than Bella.

Well, no shit Sherlock. The van crashed against pavement and windows exploted, what did you expected?!

Look at all the healed contusions! How many times did her mother drop her?

You know, if someone had dropped a child or a baby so many times, wouldn't CPS on it? Because seriously now, how many times can a child (let's not talk about a baby now) fall and hurt in his/her head without people starting to ask questions?

Seriously Meyer, you are a mother. You should know how fragile children can be.

Another small piece of her character fell into place: She was brave, she didn't like to show weakness.

Bella's being examined by Carlisle in here. Bella, you are in a hospital and a doctor is checking you, making sure you're alright. What's the point of not being honest to your doctor?

And Edward, this is not bravery. Not at all.

And then Edward and Bella have an argument since, you know, she doesn't believe him. But I'll save you from that (most like, you already know what the heck goes on from Twilight.)

**
Sigh... I need music, now.
Chapters 4 and 5 coming soon. Comments are always welcome.

Waters of Oblivion

2011-02-01T18:58:00.000-08:00

Hope fled away from me,
My aid ran, hid itself in an endless night.
No one seems to notice that I,
Have no strength left inside of me to carry on.

You drown me in waters of oblivion.

Close your eyes so you won’t see me cry.
Close them real tight and
Shut your ears
To my drowning pleading screams.

So sorry. So very sorry.

My dreams are fading ever so slowly,
My life broke into a million pieces.

Everybody
Wants and hopes that I am
Something else but me.

So I am
Nothing, nothing, I am just looking quietly
At the empty space.
(I am)
Nothing but a shell.

So many lies mingle in the heart.

(So many lies mingle in my broken heart.)

Midnight Sun: Chapter 2. Open Book

2011-02-01T18:23:00.000-08:00

And here's chapter 2. Enjoy:

“Not at all,” I assured her. “On the contrary, I’m the one who’s being rude—abominably rude. I’m very sorry.”

Abominably? I’d go with “terribly”.

She sighed, too, and put her chin in her hands. Her thoughts were chagrined.

“Chagrin” Stephenie Meyer’s default word for: just about everything. Please stop using that word. Just stop.

“Succubus,” I teased, hoping to interrupt the images flickering in her head. She grinned, flashing her teeth. “The original.”

Succubus: Female demon who seduces men in their dreams. Research fail much?

I mean, seriously anyone with an internet connection these days can google something and have access to information without having to leave the house. So really, Stephenie Meyer, you have no excuse.

My mouth twisted with chagrin. I didn’t like hurting Tanya, though her feelings were not deep, hardly pure, and, in any case, not something I could return. It still made me feel less than a gentleman.

I was going to start a “Drink every time she uses chagrin” game. But I’ll wind up drunk or bloated. And I’m out of Ice tea. So I’ll pass.

And Edward, you are NOT a gentleman. And there’s nothing more annoying than Edward getting into his high horse about “pure thoughts”. Newsflash: Women are sexual beings too.

“I raced across the snowfield, leaving no footprints.”

Woah! Edward can float?! Who knew?

Emmett and Jasper where not above taking advantage of my distraction to bombard me with slushballs; when they got bored with my lack of response, they’d turned on each other—to this overdone vigilance would have been comical if it weren’t so irritating.

Ok, I admit that I’ve always wanted to do a snowball fight, thus Emmett and Jasper get brownie points. And Edward is such a bore, isn’t he?

She must have wondered, after seeing my expression, whether she was the cause.

(Of course, we all know how Bella was acting in the first book. But really, this is very annoying.)

A normal girl would have asked around, compared her experience to others, looked for common ground that would explain my behavior so she didn’t feel singled out.

Then I guess I’m not normal. I wouldn’t give a shit about an ass like you Edward, I wouldn’t ask around. I would just assume (in this case correctly) that you’re a douche.

Humans were constantly desperate to feel normal, to fit in.

Not really. Some people enjoy being different and they’re happy not to fit in. Thank you very much.

To blend in with everyone else around them, like a featureless flock of sheep.

Please stop referring people as sheep. Thank you.

“I don’t want to move yet,” Rosalie complained. “I don’t want to start over. We’re almost out of high school, Emmett. Finally.”

Here’s an idea: Stop attending school, already!

“My name is Edward Cullen,” I said, though I knew she knew that. It was the polite way to begin. “I didn’t have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan.”

She seemed confused—there was that little pucker between her eyes again. It took her half a second longer than it should have for her to respond.

“How do you know my name?” she demanded, and her voice shook just a little.

Oh hai thar, Twilight scene. Seriously?! Do we really, really need a re-telling of this thing?

Also, Bella you are the shinny new toy for this whole damn town. Of course he knows your name.

Better than beautiful, her face was intresting.

Better than beautiful? Christ on a cracker.

She was advanced then, intelligent for a human.

*Snort* Being advanced doesn't make some more intelligent. I know this first hand, I was advanced in english, literature and philosophy and you know why? Because I studied more than other people, some of my classmates wouldn't touch literature outside class. Don't get me started on philosophy.

"I sent myself"

Please go back or shut the fuck up. Thank you. Oh, and by the way, they're having a conversation in class.

Once upon a time, I was a high school student ~~holy shit, that was almost 10 years ago~~ and I remember that talking in class was a big No-No, you would be kicked out.

Unlike most humans, her own needs were far down the list.

She was selfless.

LOLWHAT?! Bella? Selfless? My ass she is. She's a manipulative bitch who has a mayor martyr complex.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you? Life isn't fair."

My God Bella, kindly stfu.

And by the way, if someone had told me what Bella did, my most likely reaction would be to say: Martyr complex much?

But then again, I'm a cynical, sarcastical bitch who doesn't put up with some people's crap.

"Esta bien, Edward?" Senora Goff asked, startled by my sudden movement.

Man oh man, fail spanish. First: Mrs. Goff/Señora

Second: The question should have been: "Estás bien, Edward?

The "Esta" is very impersonal, usually used in situacions where you don't know the person you're asking: "Esta bien, señor?" (Are you alright, mr?) or when asking about a third party who's abscent or asking about an object.

"Estás bien" is used more casually and is the correct form in this phrase and situacion.

Ps. I google translated: "Are you alright, Edward?" to spanish, the result?
"Estás bien, Edward?"

Yeah you know you fail when even google translate gets it right.

"Me perdona," I muttered, as I darted to the door.

Wrong verb.

It should have been: "Disculpeme, porfavor" (<-Excuse me, please) before leaving. Why? Because you're apologizing in a casual setting.

Using "Me perdonas?" is the right way... when offering/asking an apology from someone and again, is more formal than "disculpa". Or in this particular case, when Edward is darting to the door, he could use: "Me disculpa un momento?" Using "Me perdona" without saying what should be forgiven is incomplete and makes no sense.

"Emmett-- por favor, puedes ayuda a tu hermano?" (Can you please help your brother)

Almost right Meyer, you only missed a letter: Ayudar

Ayuda is the correct verb, however is impersonal. By adding the "R" ending makes it personal. Why? Conjugation.

Another thing, why use spanish at all? I don't see the reason for it.

Spanish lesson of the day brought to you by a disgrunted mexican.

A few times she glanced up at the clouds with a grimace, as if they offended her.

Dear Bella, you are absolutely patethic.

Without love, someone who dances in the rain.

Ok, seriously now, someone please explain me why the rain is such a trouble for her. She has a car, it's not like she has to walk miles and miles under the rain, she only has to cross the freaking parking lot. Listen Bella, listen to me: from 7 to 12 grade, I took buses to school at 6 am in order to get on time to class. And want to take a guess? It rained during autum/winter and you don't hear me bitch because of it, now do you?! Add that I had to wear an uniform, a fucking skirt... even under fucking thunderstorms ok?

Get a grip bitch.

She stared into her rearview window, her mouth open with chagrin.

Chagrin: Meyer's default word when she doesn't know which one to use. (So glad I'm not doing the drinking game)

**
Someone please tell me, why am I doing this again?! *Sigh* I'm starting to question my own sanity.

Thanks for reading, feel free to drop a comment.

Midnight Sun: Chapter 1. "First Sight"

2011-01-31T21:15:00.000-08:00

Foreword: Book quotes will be colored pink, my snark, bitchfest or rants will be my usual lilac.

1. First Sight.

High school.

Or was purgatory the right word? If there was a way to atone my sins, this ought to count toward the tally in some measure.

And just like that, Edward has already gotten into my bad side. One, he doesn’t have to go to school; this is Stephenie’s way to introduce him to Bella, what can I say? Stephenie Meyer likes her clichés.

Another thing, high school varies for every person. Heaven’s know I had a blast in high school, yes, there were shitty moments but that’s life. Life can be such a bitch sometimes.

Second, Edward killed people. There’s no way I can condone that and say that boredom is a way to atone his sins. I don’t know how can you atone your sins after killing, yes obviously he only killed “bad people” but, does that make him better than them? I say no. Two wrongs never make a right.

Half the sheep-like males were already imagining themselves in love with her, just because she was something new to look at.

And of course, Edward is so above simple human curiosity, his apathy is endless. Newsflash, we as humans are curious, some act on it and some don’t. But it’s there.

Can I say how much I hated that he called the boys sheep-like? These are teenage boys who are curious about the new girl (Bella), there’s nothing wrong with it.

Rosalie’s mind was a shallow pool with few surprises.

I hate you Edward, I really do.

And Jasper was… suffering, I suppressed a sigh.

Empathy, you lack it.

I didn’t enjoy listening to Jasper’s struggles. Was it really necessary to experiment like this? Wouldn’t the safer path be to just admit that he might never be able to handle the thirst like the rest of us could, and not push his limits? Why flirt with disaster?

Why indeed? I see no reason why Jasper or the rest of them should be in school. They could get away with saying they’re being home schooled or just “taking a year off” from school.

“It helps a little if you think of them as people”, Alice suggested.

Well excuse me, they are people Alice. Yeah, I get it. They're "predators", but the way that Alice tries to calm Jasper comes out so wrong.

What a relief it had been when she’d gotten over her misplaced infatuation.

*Gasp* How dares Jessica have crush on him, how dares she?!

The thought of her reaction almost made me smile.

Yes, because people being afraid of you it’s so awesome [please note the sarcasm.]

If anyone would ever grew suspicious, I could give us early warning and an easy retreat.

I don’t know about you, but if I lived in such small community and the Cullen’s showed up and acted the way they do in the series… I’d be suspicious as hell. But then again, it might be my Criminal Minds, Masterpiece Mystery, Who-done-its reading, loving mind talking.

And then we have Edward listening to everyone’s mind, which I’ll spare you from reading. Let’s just say that according to Edward’s mind reading skills, all men are obsessed with Bella and women are surprise, surprise also obsessed with Bella or jealous of Bella.

Why am I doing this again? Oh yeah, momentary lapse of judgment. But I’m a woman of my word and I’ll carry on.

Jessica and her classmates had no idea how lucky they were that none of them particularly appealed to me.

Oh believe me Edward, they might not know. But I do… and it’s not for the reason you’re thinking.

I felt the strangest urge to step in between them, to shield this Bella Swan from the darker workings of Jessica’s mind.

What is Jessica planning? Murdering Bella in a ritual sacrifice or something? Ye Gods Edward, such a drama queen.

And ironic, considering everything you did to Bella in order to “protect her”.

It was doubtful Mr. Banner, a man with no more than average intellect, would manage to pull out anything in his lecture that would surprise someone two graduate degrees in medicine.

Then why in the seven levels of hell are you in high school? Oh, here's an idea: Stop attending already! And get off your goddam high horse please.

And then we have the infamous scene when her scent hits him and he goes into a “murder-everyone-on sight” thought spree. Yeah, because he’s so good at this that he is able to resist the urge (cough gary stu cough).

My features had not changed, but it seemed to me like some of his wisdom had marked my expression, that a little of his compassion could be traced in the shape of my mouth, and hints of his patience were evident on my brow.

A few things: A) Carlisle is not wise; if he were Jasper would not be in school. Actually, none of them would be in school since there’s a high risk of them going all “nom-nom-nom” on people.

B) Carlisle’s compassion is debatable at best. The man turned dying people who were not able to say no (Ok, Rosalie did begged him to let her die… we all know how that one went).

C) Edward, you are not someone I would describe as “patient”. And I wouldn’t describe you as compassionate or wise. Bitch, please.

I knew that he would forgive me for this horrible act that I would do. Because he loved me.

See, what did I tell you? Carlisle isn’t compassionate or wise. Edward is talking about murdering 19 people and knows that Carlisle would forgive him.

And tell me, what about the families or those “would-be” victims? What of them?

Oh yeah, silly me. They’re human, they don’t matter.

Then Edward proceeds to complain about Bella “ruining” his life by coming to Forks. Complains about her scent and him having to stop his breathing as to not inhale it.

Which makes me ask this question: Couldn’t he excuse himself? Pretend that he needed to go to the bathroom?

“Oh,” she gasped, a little flustered. She smoothed her shirt. Silly, she thought to herself. He’s almost young enough to be my son. Too young to think of that way... “Hello, Edward. What can I do for you?” Her eyelashes fluttered behind her thick glasses.

“Of course, Edward. How can I help?” Too young, too young, she chanted to herself. Wrong, of course. I was older than her grandfather. But according to my driver’s license, she was right

Ok, I get it. They’re supposed to be attractive to “attract” their prey. But seriously? Is everyone in this book attracted to Bella and Edward?

… Wait don’t answer that. I already know the answer.

I would not have to look back in order to reach across it and slam Mrs. Cope's head into her desk with enough force to kill her. Two lives, rather than twenty. A trade.

^And people find someone who has this kind of thoughts "boyfriend" material? We are fucked.

I hit forty before I was on the road. On the road, I hit seventy before I made the corner.

Errm, correct me if I'm wrong but, aren't certain transit rules for school grounds? Like going slower?

As I sped back to Forks doing ninety, I wasn't sure where I was going.

And I must assume that the Cullens are the only people with cars in Forks, due to all the speeding they do all the roads are always deserted. How convenient.

***

And here it is, the first chapter. Chapter 2 coming soon, any thoughts?
Now if you excuse me, I need chocolate. And if you have something to say, go ahead and drop a comment.

Midnight Sun: A bitchfest, rant and dissection.

2011-01-31T19:56:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone:

This post start the series of bitchfests/rants of the unfinished book "Midnight Sun" by Stephenie Meyer from the Twilight series (no, it's not a saga people).

You may wonder, why Midnight Sun? It's simple really, I've read the whole series and while I don't like it for several reasons, Midnight Sun is told on Edward's point of view. Yes, Edward is the reason why I picked MS. But based on what a horrible person Edward is, not on my crushing on him.

I seriously don't understand what some women (of all ages) see in him as the "perfect boyfriend", I don't. I found him to be controlling, easily angered, jealous, snobbish and downright annoying.

So, what better chance to see and "understand" better Edward than Midnight Sun?

Here's hoping I don't go crazy while reading this.

Whisper Softly

2011-01-16T19:20:00.000-08:00

Whisper softly in my ear

The words I long to hear yet the one I fear the most.

I’ve always been a forgotten shadow trapped in shadows

Abandoned by everyone I once holded dear…

Now I see,

They’re nothing but liars

Stabbed me and they left me to bleed.

I will have my vendetta, this won't go unnoticed

They will crawl and beg.

But you, dearest one? What shall I do with you?

Should I tell you lies? should I hug you and keep you?

But I know what you should do...

Whisper softly

So softly that I doubt that I hear anything

Words of blackened devotion,

Of sweet absolution

Of rage, regret, pain and love.

Doubt me not

But doubt if it's your will;

But know that I shall never allow any harm to you.

I shall tell tales

Of glory past of present rage of everlasting doubt

Stay at my side

Forevermore.

And whisper softly…

Bittersweet words of love.

Hades

2010-12-12T15:09:00.001-08:00

Hay un camino, que no tiene retorno
A veces el terror anticipado al que vendrá
Destruye la imagen celestial
Esperando él está, en la oscuridad
Siempre en silencio y soledad.

Despierta Alicia

2010-12-12T15:05:00.000-08:00

Cae al agujero

Todo revuelto,

Golpea el suelo al momento.

Huyendo el conejo por un agujero

“Tómame” ordena la botella,

Hasta su última gota

Para seguir al conejo.

Siguiendo al conejo en la oscuridad

La sonrisa del gato has vuelto a divisar,

Cuidado con la reina

Te quiere degollar.

Mira la botella

Tomaste de ella,

Encogiste en tamaño

Sola en la oscuridad.

¡Despierta Alicia!

Hacia el hoyo grita el hombre,

¡Despierta Alicia!

Si crees que puedes.

Miraste la botella

Y tomaste de ella,

Perdida en la oscuridad

En completa soledad.

Ave de Rapiña

2010-09-13T21:14:00.000-07:00

Tus promesas apestan a mentira

Y tus caricias son como aves de rapiña hambrientas,

Que vuelan sobre cuerpos caidos en tiempos perdidos;

Olvidados los ecos del dolor de las almas andantes

No queda más que recuerdos enlodados

Y el sufrimiento en los huesos blanquecinos.

En el valle de lágrimas donde reposa la memoria

Del sufrimiento que se encuentra siempre presente,

Las rosas negras florecen al por mayor

En triste tributo a la perdida de la verdad original

Y ahora no es más que palabras retorcidas

Para el uso de falsos caminos de luz.

Caminar en el sendero que tu mismo creaste,

¿Te provoca ganas de alimentar a la rapiña?

O tal vez tu verdad original yace perdida y enterrada

Distorcinada para hacerte olvidar el dolor;

Mira los huesos del mundo viejo al cual sobrepasate

Olvida los ecos y cierra los ojos a tu luz original.

Eres un idolo falso, caminate de pantanos.

Te prohibo acercarte a mi camino.

Get the War Started

2010-09-10T14:22:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: The song belongs to Pink, and everything from Lord of the Rings belongs Tolkien. In other words: Not mine and I don´t make money from this.

Original song name: Get the Party Started, by Pink
Parody name: Get the War Started, sung by Sauron

I’m coming now so you better get the war started
I’m coming now so you better get the war started

Get the war started on a starless night
Everybody’s trembling ‘cause I’m to arrive
Sending out the message to my evil friends
We’ll be looking flashy in the Nazgul’s Benz
I got lots of power check my gold shiny ring
I will go for Rohan if you know what I mean

Pumping up the chaos breaking down Helm’s Deep
Cruising through the Fangorn we’ll be crashing the scene
Everybody’s freaking as I’m coming back now
I’ll be burning houses you’ll be kissing my eye
Going now to Gondor freaking out everyone
License plate says Maiar #1 Superbad

I’m coming now so you better get the war started
I’m coming now so you better get the war started

Making out the war as I watch from the skies
everybody’s fighting as I send more troops
Pumping up my forces with this brand new orc
Everybody's fighting and they’re fighting for me
I'm your conqueror you will run very fast
I'll be your connection to a torturous life

I’m coming now so you better get the war started
I’m coming now so you better get the war started

Play Pretend

2010-09-10T13:32:00.000-07:00

Walking down the stairs

She saw the picture

I took while she wept.

She did not like it, she said.

I say: please play pretend.

A forced smile for a new photograph

And I say, let’s play pretend

Create a lie, an illusion.

I love the new one, she said.
I now play pretend.

One with hair like a dark halo,

Close your eyes and pretend to dream

Like the angel in her dreams,

Oh so happy with this picture

I play pretend.

I want the truth I can see in her eyes.

But she scoffs and scorns, turns away

And smiles again

Now I quietly play pretend.

A golden wig and hazel lies,

But what I want

Is dark and green in the screen to be seen

She sits, complains but plays pretend.

All, for popularity’s sake.

Oh word aid...

2010-08-03T01:32:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I have this stupid sense of humour.

So sue me.

Bitchology

2010-08-03T01:16:00.000-07:00

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.

When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way,

they call me a bitch.

Being a bitch means that I won't compromise what's on my heart or my mind.

It means I live my life my own way.

It means I won't let anyone step on me.

It means that I make myself my first priority,

That I'm a little selfish.

It means that allow myself to be me.

And that I'm brave enough not to change myself to "fit in".

That I won't let anyone say what or who I "should" be.

That I'm truly me.

That I'm allowed to what whatever I want,

And that there's nothing wrong with that.

That I won't let others shape my thoughts,

Douse my fire,

Stomp on me,

Or break me.

I am who I am. And if that makes me a bitch, ok.

Bitch, I am.

Embriagada de Agua

2010-08-03T00:54:00.000-07:00

Deprimida

Tomándome trago y trago de licor

La cabeza cada vez más ligera

Me daba más vueltas.

Ignorando el ardor de la garganta

Trago tras trago, cada vez aún más

Y mi embriaguez se empieza a notar

El efecto deseado,

Me siento mejor.

Bailando sola y feliz

Mi depresión se acabó, se murió

Y al voltear la botella para ver la etiqueta

Tremenda sorpresa

Era agua, de lo que embriagada estaba.

We are the Nazgul

2010-07-29T19:07:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: LotR belongs to Tolkien heirs/estate. The song to Queen, I don't own and I don't make money.

Song: We are the champions by Queen
Parody: We are the Nazgul

Once we were men
From a past time,

We were corrupted

By Sauron's rings

He made us swear

Now we regret

We fell for the oldest trick in the book!
Now we're undead!

We are the Nazgul-- the Wraiths
And we'll keep on searching till the end

We are the Nazgul

No mercy for them

'Cause we are the Nazgul... of Sauron

Went to the Shire

We look like ghosts

We're now the Black Riders of the Dark Lord

We threaten you all

We search the One Ring
For dear Sauron

We'll hunt the hobbit all over the place

And we're not gonna lose

We are the Nazgul-- the Wraiths

We are the Nazgul

No mercy for them

'Cause we are the Nazgul... of Sauron

Guardian de Historias

2010-05-26T23:29:00.000-07:00

Edades han pasado desde que se perdió,

En la profunda oscuridad de un bosque cualquiera.

Lejos de todo.

Ya perdió su interés en ser encontrada,

Ella se encuentra sentada, encantada y cautivada.

El guardián de historias escribe y ella le imita.

Y ella escribe,

Cada sueño, historia, cuento de hadas y mito,

Que hubo y habrá.

Por siempre y hasta la eternidad.

Mientras Desciendes

2010-03-02T22:28:00.000-08:00

Mientras desciendes la escalera, el reloj grita:

!El tiempo es una mentira, querida!

Las estrellas rojas a tu lado alumbran los vados,

Mientras los demás caminan por demás raudos.

Visiones del pasado en forma de fotos engalanan las paredes,

Mientras que todo cae sobre mil redes,

Mientras desciendes la escalera, el reloj grita:

!El tiempo es una mentira, querida!

El futuro es una niebla incierta rodeada de flamas;

Y la gente se pregunta que tramas.

Mientras desciendes la escalera, el reloj grita:

!El tiempo es una mentira, querida!

Sueños y realidad se colapsan juntos al atardecer,

Nunca habrá más un atardecer.

Mientras desciendes la escalera, el reloj grita:

!El tiempo es una mentira, querida!

Falsa Realidad

2009-10-09T20:37:00.000-07:00

Subiendo la escalera,

Vio la foto que tome de ella

Mientras a mares lloraba.

Ella dijo: No me gusta,

Y yo conteste: Finge que si.

Ahora ella reclama otra,

Peluca rubia y falsos ojos

Y finge ser feliz...

Ella dijo: Me encanta,

Ahora soy yo quien finge la sonrisa.

Nada mas que una mentira,

Una pequeña para al mundo engañar,

Ya que esto es, una falsa realidad.

Mundo Gris

2009-05-22T18:55:00.000-07:00

El mundo
Dio a luz a una noche sin sonidos.

La calva luna brilla,
En paz, en silencio y vacía
Pero tan mística.

En silencio me llaman,
A ahogarme en la nada,
A explorar los rincones más oscuros de mi ser.

Sin sensaciones,
Solo adormecida, entumida y fría.
He alcanzado el gran vacío

Los ojos bien abiertos
No ven nada más que un mar gris,
Sin vida.

Sin sonidos,
Nada más que una caricia del viento,
Casi fantasmal, como mariposas sobre la piel.

Sin nada,
Solo quedamos mis pensamientos y yo.
Perdidos en el gran bosque de niebla.

Y aquí estoy,
En paz dentro del abrazo de un árbol
Muerto y torcido.

Cautivada,
Sigo de pie sola y olvidada
En mi pequeño mundo gris.

The Raven's Blog

Announcement/Day of the Dead

Werewolf

Scythe

HOWL

Crazy little thing called poetry

Extraña en mi espejo

Refuge

Dawn

Poemas

I'm ALIVE! *Ahem* Yeah, I'm back

Celebratory Post

Midnight Sun: 12. Complications.

Midnight Sun: 11. Interrogations

Midnight Sun: 10. Theory

Midnight Sun: 9. Port Angels

Midnight Sun: 8. Ghost

Midnight Sun: 7. Melody

You are what you eat (Of birria, cake and Voldemort)

Midnight Sun: 6.- Blood Type

Midnight Sun: Chapter 5. Invitation

Midnight Sun: Chapter 4. Visions

A few things:

Midnight Sun: Chapter 3. Phenomenon

Waters of Oblivion

Midnight Sun: Chapter 2. Open Book

Midnight Sun: Chapter 1. "First Sight"

Midnight Sun: A bitchfest, rant and dissection.

Whisper Softly

Hades

Despierta Alicia

Ave de Rapiña

Get the War Started

Play Pretend

Oh word aid...

Bitchology

Embriagada de Agua

We are the Nazgul

Guardian de Historias

Mientras Desciendes

Falsa Realidad

Mundo Gris

I'm ALIVE! Ahem Yeah, I'm back